Get rid of negative thoughts

• I am different from others, they are smarter.
  
• I always lag behind anyway.
  
• I wish I were more beautiful (I'm not beautiful).
  
• I must be the best.
  
• I wish I were a smarter woman.
  
• Everyone works harder than me.
  
• I'm an incompetent person.
  
• My memory isn't very good.
  
• I can't remember names.
  
• Nothing will happen to me.
  
• I'm very angry, unstable, messy.
  
• I'm a coward.

Our mother's voice tells us the tone of our inner voice.

When children first start talking, they express what they will do one by one. Like 'We take the truck, we put the toy on it'. After a while, these conversations disappear. The first conversations in our lives occur under the influence of the mother and the immediate environment.

If you grow up with a mother who is protective because of her concerns, environmental conversations are formed in this direction. If you have a pessimistic mother, you will start to have pessimistic conversations about events. After a while, others cannot hear these inner conversations. But it continues within yourself.

When you were a child, you wanted to drink water from a glass even though your mother did not allow it. While drinking the water, the glass slipped from your hand and fell to the floor. Water and glass fragments were scattered on the ground. If your mother says, “You stupid child. If he talks like "I told you not to drink, you made a mess", you will be affected by this style of speaking.

Your mother may also approach the situation more calmly. If you say, "You can't drink now, but when you grow up a little, you can drink water from a glass on your own," you will learn a more hopeful conversation.

It happens when you say it 40 times.

Learning inner conversations happens over time. Conversations that are repeated over time become more established than conversations that are made a few times. Because repetition has a great place in learning. Here too, repetitive conversations cause negative thoughts to take hold. People who self-sabotage engage in negative self-talk. These conversations serve to increase the anxiety and sadness they experience.

He says that it is possible to change these negative self-talks within ourselves, and many experts around the world share this view. The negative self-talk we have been making to ourselves since childhood becomes automatic over time. And it cannot be easily converted into positive form. Therefore, efforts made by friends and family to change your current negative self-talk such as "You are thinking wrong, don't think like that, don't exaggerate" will not work. Sometimes it can even make you angrier. Therefore, if you have difficulty in overcoming these problems on your own, it would be beneficial to get help from an expert.

To avoid self-sabotage, you can look for answers to the following questions:

• What evidence do I have for this thought?
  
• Could there be another perspective for this situation?
  
• Are you setting unrealistic standards for yourself?
  
• Do you underestimate your ability to deal with problems?